Toilet Humor

Kettle bell class has helped me to discovered a few things.

1. Variety = strength
2. Laughter during workout = increased difficult
3. Farting is almost always funny

Let me explain. My kettle bell class is composed of new and seasoned ladies about my age - older and some of the male lifters age 30+. Now these individuals all vary in size, shape, and endurance capabilities. The best thing about kettle bell, is it fits to you and your abilities. The more you do, especially since every class is different (stations, 500 swings, timed swings, etc), the stronger you get. I know, "duh" - cross training tends to do that.

None the less, while working out in kettle bell class, I'm normally pretty quiet and focused. It's not hard for me to ignore others in the class and focus on myself, but the male lifters tend to joke with each other a lot, and end up laughing during the process. Then they bitch about how hard the class is.

During this same class, I was next to an older, fatter lady, who happens to be a lesbian (not that her sexual preference matters to this story, but that's how I file her in my head so that is how I describe her) was doing skull crusher sit-ups, and I was holding a plank. The woman started to do her sit-ups with some difficulty, and farted. Not once, oh no! Every other time she sat-up!

Needless to say, I couldn't help myself. I "LOL"ed. Seriously. Laughed out loud, but just for a moment. It wasn't appropriate, but I couldn't contain the laughter. I continued to silently giggle. Now imagine, someone trying to hold a plank, and then loling, then giggling. Pretty redunk looking, right? Oh, but in a sweet twist of fate, as I tried to suppress my laughter, it found another way out. I was giggling and then farted. Thankfully, it was a "cute and quiet" one, but the thought nearly mortified me. Nonetheless, I couldn't stop laughing at the idea that my neighbor had just farted several times in class, and I, laughed so hard, I too, farted.

So, I ended up getting a slight harder workout than I should have, due to the laughter. It's childish, but dammit, it was funny!

Climb to the top

I am quite aware that climbing to the top of a pole is not a big deal. In fact, most small children can easily climb to the top of a metal pole during recess. Several times in fact. But in all fairness, small children have more energy and less mass. They also heal faster. Change a few variables, such as height and weight to said child, and age, and suddenly climbing to the top of a metal pole becomes harder. Now to make it more of a challenge, climb a metal pole without using the inside of your feet, but rather the top of one foot and the backside of one of your calves. Yeah, much harder.

I've spent the past 2 and a half months lifting and strengthening my arms so that I could have the strength just to lift myself up to the top of the pole one time during my exercise class. The last of 102, I got up on the pole, and then was able to pull myself up a little bit. That was my goal. I was rather proud of myself.

Fast forward to last night, and we did a climbing drill. Which was less than exciting to me, since I never get far off the ground. I usually end up with bruised up feet, exhausted arms, sore thigh muscles, and a bruised ego. But not this time. No, this time I got up, and pulled myself up a little bit. I found this easier, so I pulled again, and again, and again. Each time I pulled, I got up more and more, though I was rotating around the pole in my climb. Until, success! I reached the top of the ceiling and slid down. Surprised, I wondered if I could do it again, so I hopped up, and repeated it. I repeated it three more times. I even accidentally hit the ceiling tile, causing the teacher to comment on my sudden ability to destroy things. I started my 5th time but was told to stop as time was up.

Out of breath, and amazed at the feat I had accomplished, I simply took a moment to myself. I had done it. I had climbed to the top. 

It is only going to get better from here!  

Braceless

The time has come. Today, I decided to stop wearing my ankle brace all the time.

I was told to wear it at least 3 months non-stop, to encourage my ankle to heal but preventing it from going through full motions. This healing process, makes the ankle weak, since it is no longer working to keep itself straight and together. So I've also been doing a lot of things to strengthen the ankle - mostly balanced exercises. 

In place of the my brace, I am still wearing a compression sock. Its not really a sock, per say, but it is similar. The thing is made of stretchy material, and each end of it (around the leg, toes, and ankle) is surrounded by a very tight elastic band. This band is so tight, it cuts into my skin. I have since removed the band, leaving only the material itself. So far it has proved useful. I feared it would fray, but has not done so.

Nonetheless, I still wear the ankle brace while biking, and using the elliptical machines. I hope to end this cycle of brace wearing soon. All I can continue to do is more exercises to help strengthen my ankle.

1. Balancing on one foot (eyes open and eyes closed)
2. One legged dead lifts (with light weights)
3. One legged flyers (or ice skating poses w/ weights)
4. One legged calf raises (with light weights) 

My weakness shall no longer make me weak!

Change it up

My gym has a reputation. It is notorious for being a dive, but it is cheap and has a pool. Thus, I have stayed with them for about 2 years now. In those two years, I've seen the heater in the pool break, the heater in the hot-tube break, and the heat in the lockers room break, thereby causing the water pipes to freeze and break upon the heat returning to the locker room. Nonetheless, I gotta give my gym credit. They've been really trying to change things up. They've replaced carpets, moved around weight machines, set up a 20 minute workout station route, repainted, replaced they're old TVs with new flat screens, and are currently re-tiling the pool and hot-tube. 

Because of the re-tiling, the pool and hot-tube have been shut down for over a week, which has put a wrench in my workout plans. So, I have had to shift my work outs, and utilized the classes at the gym that are free for members. I've done Yoga before, but it starts at 7:30 and ends around 8:45. That's a long time when you haven't eaten anything since your afternoon snack at 4:00, and removes all chances of making dinner.

Yesterday, I tried kettleball. What is it? Its a class that you basically move a 10-25lb weight around. Seems simple enough? Well our class was so big, we had to create stations with partners. Now each station had a different activity. I did the one in the photo, but some where standing, some were no the floor, and included planks, skull crushers, twists, and even wall sits. By the time the 55 minutes were up, everyone was huffin and puffin, sweaty and warm. I found some things to be rather easy, and some to be a bit more of a challenge. It was a nice and welcomed change from my usual routine. 

The pool is scheduled to reopen today, but I might try to incorporate this class into my workout on days when I'm just bored with my regular workout.

Sleeping

Sleep is a very beautiful thing. It is in fact one of my favorite activities in life. Getting enough sleep, however, an elusive thing to acquire. Difficult on its own, but add in outside distractions such as slamming doors (roommate), clicking from energy meter, and an eastern facing window and sleep becomes near impossible, at least for me.

The key component of sleep, is the full REM cycle, and as one ages, sleep patterns change and the amount of sleep required also changes. Nonetheless, my not getting enough sleep (6-7 hours/night) is draining on me. I'm a 10 hour sleeper if left in a dark and quiet room. I'm sure this inadequate sleep is harmful to me, and there are all sorts of studies on the internet about how not getting enough sleep is actually killing us (mentally and physically). I'm too lazy to link it.

So what to do? Well, first one of my healthmonth rules is to go to bed at 10:30 pm. The idea being that I might not fall asleep until 11, but that should be the latest pending all other distractions.

And strategy against distractions?
Noisy roommate: Well first, tell said roommate to politely STFU and stop slamming doors. Utilize white noise with a fan. Now the box fan is too cold during winter and the first part of spring, and since both my roommate and I have our own bathrooms that share a wall with our bedrooms, we run the fans in bathrooms. (Yes, its very energy inefficient). I will return to the box fan once the temperature gets up to about 60 or so.

Clicking noise from the utility. This random clicking from the meters turning happens all day, but especially at 11:30, 2:30, and 5:30 (or at least that is when I would notice them). I purchased a White Noise Machine from Amazon at $50. It is worth every penny. It drowns out light noises (but none from roommate). The best part is, its travel size, and I've taken it to two hotels. (I find hotels to be noisy, especially in the morning.) I was made fun of for having one during a work weekend, but considering I was the only one who slept through the screaming children and slamming doors from the basketball team sharing the hotel, I didn't really mind.

Eastern Windows: Blackout cutrains. They're cheap and come in many styles. That fix happened upon day one. Nonetheless, a very sunny morning can still stir me from my deep slumber, but it is a more pleasant way to wake up.

Even with all those strategies, I can't seem to feel rested. The only idea I have is to implement a George Costanza nap. Much like this crafty genius, I too have the available space under my desk to take a short session of Zzzs. However, my office can be quite noisy and bright (see distractions). My co-workers have offered a new solutions, since our office is located in a library, that we simply sleep among the books. Most of the people are on the computers within the library, and not within the stacks of books. Personally, I would implement nap time in an office. Just a 15-30 minute break where a person can shut down and recharge. Productivity would go up along with sanity. Then I wouldn't feel so bad about my 10:30 rule being bent once in a while.

Health Month rule

I joined healthmonth.com, a unique sort of health website that is focused on setting personal goals and sharing within your social network. So far, I'm impressed, especially since it emails me reminders to "check in" for completing my goals, every day.

One of my goals this week is to blog at least 2x a week, and thus here we are. I finished my first healthmonth today, and my spirit animal gave me $$$ in spirit dollars. More on that later.

Cool idea/Trick: Getting more protein

I love hard boiled eggs. I like eggs in almost any form, but hard boiled are the best IMO. Knowing this, I boiled up some this weekend and now I have a weeks worth of hard boiled eggs waiting for me when I come home from my workout. Cheap protein win!

How to boil the perfect hard boiled egg? Excellent question. My mom's technique, bring to boil and let them sit until cool, often yields green yolks, which have no effect on making me queezy, but can stink after a few days. The latest technique, which I found on a website that I cannot locate includes:
Put eggs in pan
Fill up pan with cold water (enough to cover)
Bring pan to boil
Boil for 10 minutes
Let sit for 10 minutes
Drain and let cool
Enjoy!

So far, the eggs have been just fine.

If your interested in boiling eggs, you should probably run a Google search on "perfect hard boiled eggs"